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Funny jokes on business sense of Gujaratis

December 21, 2015 by Dipu Shaw 1 Comment

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Gujarati jokes1

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.

The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David. Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says,

“My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite.” The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said,  “Jignessbhai, look who’s trying to teach the Patel brothers about bijness!”

________________________________________

A man approached a Gujarati in Ahmedabad Railway Station.

“Sir, I have lost my purse and all my money in it. I need ₹150 for rail ticket and another ₹ 50 for the bus fare to reach home. Will you help me?

Gujju gave this brilliant suggestion.

“Does your family have a mobile phone?
“Yes sir!”

“Take my mobile. Call your family. Give my mobile number. Ask them to recharge ₹200 for my phone. Take ₹ 200 from me after that.”

Can anyone beat a Gujju in business sense ?

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Filed Under: Humour Tagged With: best jokes, business jokes, funny, Gujaratis, GujjuJokes, India, jokes, Sardar ji jokes, Whatsapp

Porn sites banned: Coolest jokes trending on Whatsapp

August 3, 2015 by newshourindia 1 Comment

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Sunny Leone
Ab aane wali Generation Sunny Leone Ko Keval Bollywood Actress ke Taur par hi Janegi  !!
#PornBan
———-////////————
Interviewer: What is your name?
Girl: Ima
Interviewer: But online application entry says Pornima??
Girl: I had applied on 31st July… Before ban!! 😂#porn sites banned
Maggi ban हुई थी तो लड़को ने लड़कियों का बड़ा मजाक उड़ाया था कि अब क्या cook करोगीलग गई बद्दुआ,
हो गई Porn Ban😓
😂😂
porn ban
IMG-20150804-WA011
 Internet pornography banned
Click below for Other Whatsapp jokes
FUNNY: A Husband’s Point of View for Whatsapp
Best Suspense joke for Whatsapp
Best Husband Wife Jokes for Whatsapp
Best Slogan on Indian Walls: For Whatsapp
Short stories worth reading and forwarding on Whatsapp
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Filed Under: Humour Tagged With: #AchheDin, #pornban, ban on pornography, BJP government, Congress, funny, govt, India, internet pornography, jokes, Narendra Modi, porn, porn sites, porn sites banned, Sunny Leone, trending, Whatsapp

Flying snake caught on camera in India!

July 26, 2015 by RAJ KIRAN 1 Comment

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Flying snake

You must have heard of flying snakes? Or may have seen it on National Geographic channel but people in India were surprised when they saw a snake flying in the sky in Morbi district of western Indian state of Gujarat.

SCROLL DOWN FOR VIDEO

The flying snake was sighted by a number of people in the district and some youths captured the images on their mobile cameras. The images have since then gone viral on social networking sites and mobile messaging service Whatsapp. News Hour India could not verify the authenticity of the photographs.
Some youths have also claimed that the snake in the image was not flying and was instead falling after slipping from claws of some bird. But there were more number of people who said they had seen the snake flying in the air.

WATCH VIDEO

This is not the first time that flying snake has been sighted in India.

Earlier this year in the month of January, a flying snake Chrysopelea taprobanica, known to be endemic to Sri Lanka was sighted in Andhra Pradesh.

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Filed Under: Trending Tagged With: caught on camera, cobra, Flying snake, Gujarat, India, photograph, picture, snakes, social media, trending, video, viral video, Whatsapp

A Husband’s point of view – Jokes for Whatsapp

July 10, 2015 by newshourindia Leave a Comment

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Husband

We keep hearing a wife’s rules but Finally a Husband has taken the time to put forth his point of view. 😝

So these are the husband’s RULES who have so far only been listening to their other (not better) half.

These are our rules! Please note.. they are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!

1. Husbands ARE NOT mind readers. So don’t think of them as one

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Just ASK for what you want. Let us be clear on this: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. Consult a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1.  ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cars, bikes or games

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. U r in shape….. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

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Filed Under: Humour Tagged With: funny, humour, husband wife jokes, India, joke, jokes for whatsapp, marriage jokes, mobile, rules of husband, sms, Whatsapp

Best suspense joke for Whatsapp – Funny

July 3, 2015 by newshourindia 4 Comments

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Suspense1

We have been sharing with our readers a number of jokes worth forwarding on Whatsapp and other messaging services and also Facebook. And this latest one is the best suspense joke till date😜. Please share on Facebook and other social networks as this will help us and keep us going.
A Father was lying down on bed with his three-year-old daughter. He told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
“God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa.”

The father asked his daughter, ‘Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?’

The little girl replied, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this,
“God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.”

The next day the grandmother died.

“Holy crap” thought the father, “This kid is in contact with the other world.”

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy.”

He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said,
“I’ve never seen you work so late. What’s the matter?”

He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”

She said, “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting 😜😝😝😂😂

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Filed Under: Humour Tagged With: facebook, funny, hilarious, humour, husband wife joke, jokes, Lol, sexy jokes, sleep, social media, suspense, trending, Twitter, Whatsapp, World

Best husband wife jokes – worth Whatsapp

June 15, 2015 by newshourindia 1 Comment

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Husband-Wife-Joke1

🔴Husband: I found Aladin’s lamp today.

Wife: wow, what did you ask for darling??

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: oh..jaan..love you so much.. Did he do that??

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn’t apply on zero.
😎😎😎
🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹
🔴Ek Aadmi ne conductor se pucha: Aap kitne ghante bus me rehte ho ?

Conductor: 24 hours.

Aadmi: Wo kaise?

Conductor: 8 ghante city bus me, Baaki 16 ghante biwi ke “BASME”.!
😫😫😫
🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹
🔴Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??

Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
😝😝😝
🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹
🔴A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn’t speak to him for 6 months.

Was the necklace FAKE?

Nooooo! That was the deal 🙂
😜😜😜
🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹
🔴A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, “the food looks delicious, let’s eat.”

Wife: honey…..you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that’s at home sweetheart……here the chef knows how to cook.
😁😁😁
🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹
🔴Best Slogan on a MAN’s T-Shirt :

“Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed”
😳😳😳
🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹
🔴Bhakt: Swami ji, aisi Patni ko kya kahte hai jo Gori ho, Lambi ho, ho, Inteligent ho, Pati ko samjhe, Or kabhi jhagda n kare?

Swami: Mann ka Vaham kahte hain Beta, Mann ka Vaham!!!!
😂😅😂
🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹
Shortest Joke !
Santa: meri biwi jawaan hai.
Banta: toh border pe bhej de😂😜

 

Why Boys get Blocked on whataspp:😄😄😄
Boy: What’s your Name ?? 😜
Girl: Palak and you??
Boy: Paneer !!!😂😂😂

*BLOCKED!!!*

Girl: What’s UP ?😊
Boy: Uttar Pradesh 😆😆😆

*BLOCKED!!!*

Girl : tu Soya hai…?? 😣
Boy : Nahi…! Mungfali hun..!😂😂😂😂😂

*Blocked* 😝

Girl : See ya !☺
Boy: Var Ram chandar ki jai! 😂😂😂😄😄

*BLOCKED!!!* 😛

Girl: Have a Good Day.😉
Boy: No thank you… I like Parle-G .😷😷😂😂

*BLOCKED turant!!!*

Boy- Thank you😊
Girl- My Pleasure😌
Boy- My Bajaj Pulsar 😄😄😄😂😂😂

*Blocked Forever*

And the best one, 😝

After fight:
Girl: Tum toh mujhe manaate hi nahin!! 😢
Boy: Tum kya ho? Diwali ho? EID ho? Ya Holi?

*BLOCKED!!!

 

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Filed Under: Humour Tagged With: age, funny, humour, husband wife joke, jokes, jokes on women, life, love jokes, messages, Santa Banta, Sardar ji jokes, Whatsapp

Video of NGO owner molesting tribal girl goes viral

May 30, 2015 by RAJ KIRAN Leave a Comment

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NGO owner molests tribal girl

A video of an NGO owner molesting a tribal girl has gone viral on social media and mobile messaging service Whatsapp. Ironically, the NGO called Navnirman Trust works for the uplift and education of tribal community in Vyara town of Tapi district in Gujarat.

The accused was arrested by the police late on Thursday night after he was trying to flee to Maharashtra. Earlier, members of Adivasi Kisan Sagathan, a local social organization, submitted a memorandum to the district superintendent of police (DSP) demanding immediate action against the accused.

SCROLL DOWN FOR VIDEO (Face of the victim has been blurred to conceal her identity)

A report in the Times of India website said that the accused, Ajay, is also a local BJP leader in Vyara.

The victim is an employee in the NGO and the video was purportedly shot by another woman in Rajput’s office.  Police informed that they are recording statement of the victim and a case will be registered as per her account.

 

WATCH VIDEO HERE

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Filed Under: Crime Tagged With: Ahmedabad, arrest, crime, disabled, girl, Gujarat, India, molest, news, NGO, police, rape, school, Tapi, tribal girl, video, viral, Vyara, Whatsapp, woman

Short stories worth reading, feeling and forwarding on Whatsapp

December 25, 2014 by newshourindia Leave a Comment

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14 short stories worth reading, feeling and forwarding to all those dear to you..

1. Fall and Rise

Today, when I slipped on the wet tile floor a boy in a wheelchair caught me before I slammed my head on the ground.  He said, “Believe it or not, that’s almost exactly how I injured my back 3 years ago .

2. A father’s advice

Today, my father told me, “Just go for it and give it a try!  You don’t have to be a professional to build a successful product.  Amateurs started Google and Apple.  Professionals built the Titanic

3. The power of uniqueness.

Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his 70’s – what his top 3 tips are for success.  He smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.

4. Looking Back

Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working on for my Psychology class.  When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.

5. Try and U shall know

I am blind by birth. When I was 8 years old, I wanted to play baseball. I asked my father- “Dad, can I play baseball?” He said “You’ll never know until you try.” When I was a teenager, I asked him, – “Dad Can I become a surgeon?”. He replied “Son, you’ll never know until you try.” Today I am a Surgeon, just because I tried!

6. GOODNESS & GRATITUDE

Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug.  When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her.  She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”

7. LOVE CONQUERS PAIN

Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying.  And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.

8. A DOOR CLOSES TO OPEN ANOTHER

Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work. At 3PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got a flat tire. When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too. A man in a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job.  I start tomorrow.

9. LOOKING BACK

Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.”

10. AFFECTION

Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed.  About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.

11. INNOCENCE

Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, “Why?” She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.”  I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?” “Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.

12. JOY

Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics, I suddenly realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.

13. KINDNESS

Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me.  He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better soon.”.

14. SHARING

Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe.  He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy.  Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating.  The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.”

Cheers to life.

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Filed Under: Trending Tagged With: funny, jokes, life, Santa Banta, short stories, sms jokes, stories about life, trending stories, truth of life, Whatsapp, worth reading

Trending jokes on #Whatsapp – VERY FUNNY

August 14, 2014 by newshourindia 1 Comment

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Chintu failed in the final Law Exam & decided to make a deal with the Professor.

Chintu: Sir, Can I ask you one question?

Professor: Yes.

Chintu: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you cant, you will have to give me an “A” grading.

Professor agreed.
.
.
.

Chintu asked: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?”

Prof thought about it for hrs & pondered but couldnt think of an answer.

He had to finally give up as he really didnot know the answer.

He gave this boy an “A” grading as promised.

The following day, Professor asked same question to his students.

He was shocked when all of them raised their hands.

He asked one student.

He answered:

Sir, you are 65, married to a 28 yrs old woman, this is legal but not logical.

Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal.

Your wife’s boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet you have given him an “A”, this is neither logical nor legal.

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Filed Under: Humour Tagged With: bad jokes, best jokes, friend jokes, funny jokes, humour, India, jokes, Rajnikanth jokes, santa banta jokes, sex jokes, sms jokes, trending, trending jokes, Whatsapp, whatsapp jokes

Video showing BJP candidate walking over children goes viral

March 24, 2014 by newshourindia Leave a Comment

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BJP leader Mohan Kundariya walking on backs of children

A video showing BJP Lok Sabha candidate from Rajkot in Gujarat walking on the backs of children has gone viral on mobile messaging application Whatsapp and social networks. Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi is Bharatiya Janata Party’s nominee for prime minister’s post.

The BJP candidate from Rajkot Lok Sabha constituency Mohan Kundariya is seen climbing on the backs of children who are bent to form a long row and walking during a school programme. Several supporters of the leader are seen waving the Indian flag. In the second sequence,  Mohan Kundariya is seen sitting on the backs of the children with his legs spread on another child. A patriotic song ‘Bharat Bhagya Vidhata’ plays in the background.

[jwplayer mediaid=”2140″]

The video, which was reportedly taken during a Yoga camp at Swaminarayan temple, has become a major embarrassment for the BJP.

 

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Filed Under: India news Tagged With: #BJP leader walking on children, Bharat Bhagya Vidhata, Bharatiya Janata Party, BJP, Gujarat, India elections, Mohan Kundariya, Narendra Modi, PM canidate, Rajkot, social networks, trending, viral video, Whatsapp

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HUMOUR

Funny jokes on business sense of Gujaratis

Funny jokes on business sense of Gujaratis

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One has a Cross in front of him; … [Read More...]

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